Love of my life

Pictures that make me feel inlove…my love of my life….my boys…  

  

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3rd week

wow….that smile you just gave reminds me that you are now 3 weeks old..

Baby don’t get grow fast okay..i wanna cherish my mamahood  while you are still baby…ilove you my little boy.. 

 

motherhood

  
At first I just wished to have you…Then I prayed that my wished will come true.. then God gave me you…

9 months…it was exciting…it was frightening…it was fascinating…it was wonderful…it was miraculously mysterious…it was hard but I was happy…I was inspired….

But when the time was due it was very hard…I am afraid…I am in pain but I am happy and excited…at the delivery room all am thinking is you.. Things flashblacked…I was in a week of trying to grasp what is happening to my body…Then I was in 4 days of unstoppable pain…then 3 days of continous no sleep…whole day of untolerable pain…it was a long week of walking….

I remember I am already at delivery room…then again I heard the doctor…”jeck..push harder…” “Jeck…thats wrong…push harder…” If only she new I am trying the best push I knew…It was a long 4 hours…and I still can’t get it…I am loosing my strength already..no..actually I dont have strength anymore…I am praying hard to make sure you are safe….I am praying hard for both of us…

Then I heard the doctor said again ” jeck…push harder…or else will do this in CS..” 

I was looking at the clock…then I look at my doctor..her face is disappointed…I am afraid what will happen to you…time is important good thing your pulse are strong…no you are strong..you are stronger than me…I am weak…I took my remaining strength from you…Then I heard again…”jeck..will do this in CS..I am going to talk to your husband…”

I remember the time I decided to have you..I remember the time I first knew you are developing in my womb..now I know I will breakdown…

After more than 4 hours…I am very tired…I am getting weaker…the nurse helped me stand and assisted me to the wheelchair…I am silent..when the nurse pull me out the delivery room..and the door opened..I saw your tita jessa …she tried to give me a smile…I know she knew I am in much pain..Daddy is silently looking at me then he rushed to the car when I am brought there he was ready already…I sat next to your tita I held her hand hard…daddy asked me if I am ok, I nod and he start immediately the car…he is very silent while driving,..I don’t know what he was thinking…On the way to hospital I felt so much pain…That’s the time maybe you wanted out…I hold tita jessa much harder…I cried…I almost scream…I called your daddy…I wanted help…

at hospital they were rushing when I told them that I am 9cm already and when my doctor called the ER…I am in pain…but I need to have presence of mind…When I am in delivery room…I pushed hard already…the nurses and staffs in delivery room were noisy and counting as I push…The nurse help me push you out…It was a very hard 4 pushed…In fourth push…I did’nt stop till I heard you cry…then I saw you when the doctor put you on the table…then I felt I can lose my strength I feel sleepy…I  know I slept…I felt relief…

I woke up I remember you…nurses and hospital staffs were busy checking on me…immediately I ask…where are you..they all answered youre ok..I was brought to a room where daddy is there…he kissed me and show me your picture you are at the nursery already…very weird feeling…but one thing for sure…I am thanking God you are safe… 

 

Excited

Baby Jemelle and Daddy….

  

Dear baby jemelle,

Today i visited again our OB…I experienced for second time what she called IE…I dont know what does it mean…but what is important is she told me I am 1cm open..hayst..why I am writting in english…

Ikinuwento sa mga kaopisina ko ang sinabi ng OB..Ang kukulit nilang magkwento tungkol sa experiences nila…sinumulan ng isa…”ako nung 1cm ako after 3 days nanganak na ako…” …tapos sunod sunod na silang nagkwento…pero isa lang ang ibig sabihin nila..malapit ka ng lumabas anak…at excited ako dun…

Baby…super excited akong makita ka na…excited akong mayakap ka na…excited akong kargahin ka…bantayan ka..patulugin ka..kantahan ka..hawakan at halikan ka…first time ko tong naramdaman…Im sure si daddy mo..sobrang excited din..anak, kahit gano kasakit handa na ako…tulungan mo lang ako ha….sana anak maging mabuti kang tao..masayahin at masigla..matapang, matalino, mapagmahal at Mahal ang Diyos…

Ikaw ba baby excited ka ng makilala kami ng daddy mo? 

Maaga akong umuwi ngayon…di na ako sumama sa mga kaopisina ko na nagmall..hinihintay ko si daddy mo ngayon…nakakainip palang maghintay…kaya naisip kong sulatan kita…at dito sa blog ko nilagay ang unang sulat ko sayo…

Anak…mahal na mahal kita..habang iniisip kong kung paano ka lumaki sa loob ko..iniisip ko rin anu ang magiging kinabukasan mo sa amin ng daddy mo paglabas mo…ang totoo kinakabahan ako..pero masaya ako…kakayanin ko na ilabas ka sa sinapupunan ko…nawa ay tulungan ako ng Maykapal at ng Mahal na Birhen at ni Sto. Niño…

Mahal na mahal kita anak….

Mama